obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

halalbarbie:

halalbarbie:

i was watching gone girl w my mum and she’s like wow amy is crazy and im like………….but he literally cheated on her and didn’t even know her blood type 

my mum’s like honey she killed an innocent man for no reason…………ok but he took her pudding and told her she needed to lose weight and dye her hair back to how he liked it…he had to go

*Gives you head because you had a long day*

sadgayradical:

i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks